Call to Masturbation
there is a hadith buried somewhere deep
in the torn abandoned crevices of your dusty Quran.
this hadith calls to you, begs for you, and moans for you
from the sulky corner of your dorm room each fortnight.
"a man who truly loves a woman will choose her for
beauty, luck, charm, wealth, and above all
dignity."
but it's 3 am
and your sticky fingers barely spread apart
from the spoiled orgasm of tonight's late-night porn binge
and last night's broken fast.
you see it's 3 am before suhoor
and your breasts are flopping
and your clitoris is throbbing
and there is
nothing dignified
about your heavy brown breaths
and syncopated sighs.
in fact at 3 am there is nothing dignified about manless pleasure
or giving the performance of your life to a row of crumpled pillows
and tossed sheets
who cradle you the way an imam's voice once did.
at 3 am love exists within self-inflicted fingerprints
all over your lonely mounds of subsaharan sugar cane
raw and unrefined from the absence
of a so called
dignified
man.
Fatima Shakur is a Sudanese American writer, born and raised in Chicago. She is currently pursuing her undergraduate degree in creative writing and comparative race studies at the University of Chicago. Send love (or hate) to Fatima via her Instagram.