Before the Guests Arrive

Soph Bonde/Argot Publications Inc

[Image Description: A photograph of a person walking down a street in late afternoon. The perspective is voyeuristic and out of focus, from the second story of a building, through gauze curtains.]

In the shower I alternate
Between thinking about my ex,
Starting the poem I'm writing about exes with Pristine
(Who is sort of an ex
But more of a p or a y or a z)
And singing "puff the magic dragon" in my head

I keep almost getting somewhere
Capturing a phrase like, 
"The bodies that helped us become"
Noticing that I haven't cried nearly as much this week
Rearranging some words
Managing to get realness and humor
On the same strand
Until
"....in a land called Honalee......" 
pops back in,
The final syllable dragging on

I think about how Ray kisses SB
How Sara kisses Michelle
And how I crave being in between love
When I can't be in it

But
I've remembered how to masturbate
I'm remembering how to want
I almost kissed R last night
But she had a new lover over
So the moment wasn't right

So the moment wasn't right
So we broke up
So it's 7:20pm and I'm naked and
Ready to wrap up these words
so I can watch porn
before the guests arrive

I'm seeing her tomorrow
Tomorrow is Sunday
Then comes Monday
Tomorrow becomes yesterday
And I keep breathing