Still/Moving

IN HONOR OF NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY

OCT. 11, 2018 #ARGOTCOMINGOUT

[Image description: photograph of a brightly lit fairground ride spinning in motion.]

Leon Fishman / Creative Commons

Someone demands
That I explain myself to them.
I refuse.

An older queer turns to me
And says “it gets worse.”
I appreciate their honesty.
Community of fury, I think.
It’s the last poetic thought
I have about it.

My humiliation
Has been educational.
Horribly articulate in an argument;  

I derive no pleasure
From causing pain,
But I must live.
Must be all that toxin
Puffing out my chest
And shaking me with sorrow.

Someone with hands
Not unlike my mother’s
Wrinkles their nose at my presence.

My fat, strong body.
My little moustache that opens -
Like succulent leaves -
The kept gates
Of my soft upper lip
And very strong jaw. 

I do reside somewhere
Between that which I shall never have
And that which I can never be -

But all travelers go alone,
And I am charged
With constant motion.

---

Nino Porter-Lupu is a writer and translator who has plied their trade in countries around the world. A long-time professional foreigner, Nino is not from there, but they probably speak the language. They currently live, for their sins, in Chicago, and their hobbies include knife-throwing and screaming-at-god.